"I don't really know," Mama answered, and began to sob in her rehearsed refined manner. " I was playing wit my baby right here on the porch. You know how you do. I was swinging her out, trying to get her to laugh. I don't know what happened. I swung her out that one time and she musta kicked or something 'cause the next thing I knew she was falling. Wadn't nothing I could do"
"She was convincing. I thought for a moment that maybe I was mistaken in what I thought had happened. I thought she had thrown Judy from the porch but no mother could do that, not even mine. Could she?"
This passage is from after Tangy-Mae's mother throws Judy off the porch and tells the sheriff about how Judy died. She lies and Tangy-Mae notices her fake crying, "and began to sob in her rehearsed, refined manner". As I'm reading this book I'm starting to believe that this mother has a serious mental disorder. She seems to have no compassion for her own children and does not feel guilty about either killing her daughter or lying about it. Tangy-Mae notices this but she actually questions her own story instead of realizing how horrible her mother is, "I thought for a moment that maybe I was mistaken in what I thought had happened". Maybe Tangy-Mae sub-consciously knows what happened but would like to believe otherwise to ease her mind.
I chose this passage because Tangy-Mae's feeling of suddenly not being sure what the truth often happens to me. Sometimes in life everyone has a different story of what happened and suddenly you are not sure what the real story is even if you saw it happen. This happens to me a lot when I play tennis. If I have an argument with my opponent about score or a line call I often just give in. Sometimes even if previously I was sure of myself I start to question my story because their story can start to feel like my memory. This feeling of uncertainty is hard to explain but it is frequent in my life in and out of tennis.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
3: The Darkest Child 103-147
"Never in my life had I heard such rage under one roof as I heard that night. Sam wailed like a strong, full-grown man-the worst sound in the world. Grief and anger wrapped around his chest and sputtered and hissed with his every wail. It seemed to suck the air from his lungs and the blood from his heart. My mother enfolded him in her arms, and together they slumped to the kitchen floor. Sam clutched her shoulders and clung to her as though something inside of her could give him relief."
"'They didn't have to kill him, Mama,' Sam cried. 'They didn't have to kill him. I went and seen how they left him hanging from that tree, and they didn't have to do that. Junior never hurt nobody.'"
This passage comes at the end of the 21st chapter on page 146. It takes place after Sam's good friend, Junior is lynched. Sam is overcome with grief and does not hide it, "Sam wailed like a strong, full-grown man." Sam being a "full-grown man" would probably usually keep his emotions to himself but now they are too strong to keep to himself. He uses his mother as an anchor to hold on to and make him feel better. Luckily for once she is there when she is needed most. When someone dies the people close to them have many emotions. They obviously feel grief but also they are angry. Sam cannot understand why Junior was targeted. He is frustrated with the rest of the world, "They didn't have to kill him, Mama,". In many books I have read about death the people affected by it feel like somehow they are cursed and that god or some other higher being is targeting them.
I haven't experienced much death in my life. My family members that have passed away were distant or not a large part of my life. Both of my grandfathers died before I could know them and my grandma was incapable of moving or talking for many years before she died. I'm ashamed to say that the most pain I've felt is when my guinea pig died. I felt guilt, sorrow and anger. I'm also ashamed to say that most of my sorrow about death has been selfish. I usually feel sad because I will never get to see this person/animal again. When my guinea pig died I felt guilty because I felt like I had neglected him when he was close to death. Although I was not fully aware that he was close to death I must have sensed it in some way. I think that even if you don't feel close to the person who has died you will feel some negative emotion.
"'They didn't have to kill him, Mama,' Sam cried. 'They didn't have to kill him. I went and seen how they left him hanging from that tree, and they didn't have to do that. Junior never hurt nobody.'"
This passage comes at the end of the 21st chapter on page 146. It takes place after Sam's good friend, Junior is lynched. Sam is overcome with grief and does not hide it, "Sam wailed like a strong, full-grown man." Sam being a "full-grown man" would probably usually keep his emotions to himself but now they are too strong to keep to himself. He uses his mother as an anchor to hold on to and make him feel better. Luckily for once she is there when she is needed most. When someone dies the people close to them have many emotions. They obviously feel grief but also they are angry. Sam cannot understand why Junior was targeted. He is frustrated with the rest of the world, "They didn't have to kill him, Mama,". In many books I have read about death the people affected by it feel like somehow they are cursed and that god or some other higher being is targeting them.
I haven't experienced much death in my life. My family members that have passed away were distant or not a large part of my life. Both of my grandfathers died before I could know them and my grandma was incapable of moving or talking for many years before she died. I'm ashamed to say that the most pain I've felt is when my guinea pig died. I felt guilt, sorrow and anger. I'm also ashamed to say that most of my sorrow about death has been selfish. I usually feel sad because I will never get to see this person/animal again. When my guinea pig died I felt guilty because I felt like I had neglected him when he was close to death. Although I was not fully aware that he was close to death I must have sensed it in some way. I think that even if you don't feel close to the person who has died you will feel some negative emotion.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
2: The Darkest Child 48-102
"See, Harvey, you just climb on them trucks and go wherever they take you. I can't do that no mo'," Sam said. "I know I make it hard for myself, but, hell, Max can tell y'all some of the things we been through. We went out wit' Mr. Butterfield one time. I asked him before I got on his truck, and he told me he needed cotton pickers at three-and-a-half cents a pound. I sweat my way through a hundred and fifty pounds of cotton. It was dark when we finished, and he gave us seventy-five cents apiece. Said we had done put rocks in our sacks."
In this excerpt from page 61, Sam, Tangy Mae's older brother, describes his frustration to a group of his friends who share this feeling. Many white people took advantage of the African Americans because the whites were more powerful than the blacks. In this case Mr. Butterfield cheats them out of their money, "It was dark when we finished and he gave us seventy-five cents apiece. Said we had done put rocks in our sacks." Some of the men, like Harvey don't want to start any trouble. Some, like Hambone want to rebel with violence. Junior, the most educated of them all would like protest peacefully without starting too much trouble. It is apparant from history that Junior was right. Protesting with violence just confirmed the white peoples beliefs that the African Americans were inferior to them. Only when they protested peacefully were the white people forced to listen to them (although they still tried not to). Although the blacks had every right to act violently they could not because it would only start more trouble.
I can relate to this passage because I often get extremely frustrated with the authorities in my school and home. Just like this situation there is really no way to resist because the authorities in my life will mostly side with each other. Teacher's and parents alike always assume that they are right and will never believe their children and students even if they are outnumbered. I recently was in a situation at tennis where my coach would not believe me and all of my teamates that we had done what he had asked. Even though we were all positive that we had not broken any rules or cut any corners he still punished us. It was very frustrating because there was nothing we could do.
In this excerpt from page 61, Sam, Tangy Mae's older brother, describes his frustration to a group of his friends who share this feeling. Many white people took advantage of the African Americans because the whites were more powerful than the blacks. In this case Mr. Butterfield cheats them out of their money, "It was dark when we finished and he gave us seventy-five cents apiece. Said we had done put rocks in our sacks." Some of the men, like Harvey don't want to start any trouble. Some, like Hambone want to rebel with violence. Junior, the most educated of them all would like protest peacefully without starting too much trouble. It is apparant from history that Junior was right. Protesting with violence just confirmed the white peoples beliefs that the African Americans were inferior to them. Only when they protested peacefully were the white people forced to listen to them (although they still tried not to). Although the blacks had every right to act violently they could not because it would only start more trouble.
I can relate to this passage because I often get extremely frustrated with the authorities in my school and home. Just like this situation there is really no way to resist because the authorities in my life will mostly side with each other. Teacher's and parents alike always assume that they are right and will never believe their children and students even if they are outnumbered. I recently was in a situation at tennis where my coach would not believe me and all of my teamates that we had done what he had asked. Even though we were all positive that we had not broken any rules or cut any corners he still punished us. It was very frustrating because there was nothing we could do.
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